The Nerdy Files


Hi, I'm Fatima but you call me Tammy. I'm a 22 year old freelance writer and marketing officer. I love art. Mostly the things you will see in this, would be my thoughts, my poems, my covers and anything that I love.


Underneath the words,

a storm of rage,

piercing—unto earth—like swords.

But it’s shrouded with honey,

to make words sound phony.

At your high chair,

in your eyes all is not fair.

Yet, silently on my knees I am.

For disrespect would be a sham.

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Darkness hovers,
the soul—wholly—it covers.
Moving in a manner sluglike, 
but precise like a knife,
the excruciating pain inside.
To damnation this path, I’m reserved for.
Now where are you—the salvation I hold on to before?

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So I was vacant in the office for a good amount of time… And for 30 seconds I was staring at the wall… Now, this is what had happened…

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Screams, muffled.

Minds, baffled.

Lives, thrown.

Faces, down.

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The words breathed,

stopped to be a feat.

All left is defeat,

even running won’t get any beat.

Emancipation is now lost.

To only end up losing the cause,

for words to flow,

but only to be left with a blow.

So on knees,

this soul begs to the Supreme Being.

Ease the pain.

Make words, the only gain. 

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The vast sea

is the form I take

to sail your boat

in any fine day.

The storms would come around.

Though, the waters might waver,

still safe to home bound.

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Some part of fiction I’m writing

                All that was heard is the sound of a small scream from a distance. It was muffled. But as a few moments that kept on passing, the sound continued to get louder and louder—like how one could hear a faint sound grow distinct as it approaches the source. The lights around were dim—signifying that it might still have been a night, or in a later time before dawn breaks. And as the sound became clearer, a door came into view; hindering the viewer to see what was really happening from the other side of the closed door. Everything around was actually quiet, aside from the noise coming from the other side of the closed door. Tamsyn made her eyes wide to see things better, but to no avail.

                All around her was still blurry.

                So her hand then tried to figure out where the doorknob is. One thing that was peculiar here was that it was in a different place. More likely, in a different house; somewhere she hasn’t stepped in before.

                Feeling the roundness of the doorknob in her palm, she turned it. As she was opening it, her body was also motioning inside. A big nerving anticipating began to rule every vein in her anatomy, as she was making herself aware of her surroundings. The screams by this time mellowed down into small groans.

                Manly groans, possibly.

                When she was able to get a glimpse of who it might be; slowly the image faded. Next thing Tamsyn knew, she was greeted by the sunlight coming from her window. That dream was rather very weird—for it felt very real. Regardless of how blurry it was, every detail was rather vivid.

                Moving from her bed, she then stood by her window, then saw that across from her house, there were authorities surrounding it. Now, this made the eyes of the young woman be glued at that direction. There might be a little bit of curiosity in which was arising from her, she didn’t really pay much attention to the situation since it doesn’t interest her so much—more so—concerned in any bit. However, her doorbell then rang. Her head abruptly turned to the direction of where the main entrance of her home was. Moving quickly, she motioned to her main door from her room and opened it. A big calm yet questioning look flooded the young woman’s face upon seeing the person at the door. Though, there was slightly a twinge of familiarity that arose from Tamsyn upon seeing the person—she merely can’t point her finger to it. “Yes, what is it?” There was a tone of intimidation from her voice, it wasn’t really intentional… It was actually unconscious. But she was still welcoming regardless. 

                The man at the other side of the door was a bit put off with how the young woman presented herself to him. Well, put off in a sense that, he thought he was disturbing the young woman. No matter how long Cornelius has been doing these things, he still felt as if he was breaching people’s privacy. There’s just really something in the way that people welcome other people that the FBI agent cannot point his finger on—especially when it comes to first meetings.

                And this is their first meeting ever.

                But weirdly enough, he felt, like what the young woman had felt—a familiarity that he cannot quite understand really. Shaking it off away from his mind, Cornelius then focused his thoughts and mind to what his real agenda: asking for any information of what might have happened to the house across where he is now. Tamsyn’s house.

                Clearing his throat, Cornelius then started to speak, “Good morning, ma’am. I apologise if I have taken you from anything important this morning.” He was about to pause to be mindful of his surroundings and to collect his composure still, when he just decided to continue and take control of the situation. “I would just like to ask some questions regarding what happened to Mr. Jacob Fritz, the one residing from the house across yours.” As he was pointing that out, his head unconsciously darted that direction; then back to the young woman before him.  By this time, his masculine hormones took over for a while, making him see that the female before him was actually pretty. Realising that he was thinking about it, he silently cleared his throat and composed himself once more.

                This was something new for the young woman; on a personal level that is. Usually, when it comes to authorities and confrontations like this one she’s having at the current, she’s always the onlooker. Which is why, for some few moments, she was panicky inside of her, even if she didn’t really have any idea of what had happened; since she just woke up. But not wanting to waste time she agreed to give some of the little knowledge she may have of the said neighbour. “Yeah, sure… Come in.” She was actually a bit worried at that time, because she doesn’t really know the man, other than his name. Nonetheless, when she invited the agent inside, she already collected her thoughts that could actually help them—even if she knew it won’t be much of a help really.



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Lost and not found.

Hi, guys. As promised, I’m here. I’m glad to be here once more. It’s nice to be back at the place where I can call it my artistic haven. Besides, kind of feeling down the past few days. Things just really happen. Oh well, when karma bites you, it is really twice what you have done. Oh well, it has to happen, to teach me once more that karma isn’t something to be meddled with. Anyway, how have you been lovely people? All good? I’m happy for you. Anyway, if you ever want to connect to me, I have my links up there and my ask box here as well. Will post poem things later. Ta.

Tammy x

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You’re like the shells from that sea.

Fragile in form;

beautiful in many forms.

The sand may give out storms.

But you’re still there after the storm. 

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Lost at the seas;
where no eye sees
Floating not drowning.
Salvation I am seeking.
To fly above;
in peace, like a dove.
But the mind is always at peace.
However, externally shattered;
piece by piece.
A smile to cover.
Like a sun that would always hover,
the bodies that are near.
Only distant because of fear.

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Seas… are the ones I see.
In the eyes that like stars;
look down on me.
With lips so luscious.
I can really sacrifice my breath;
just to taste of how it’s so delicious.
And warm breaths we shall share.
In the cold air of the night,
which we both can’t bear.

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Resurrected. Alive.

Oh hello dears! I know, it’s been a while. I’ve been busy with other things in Tumblr for the past few months that I have not been here. However, I’m back. Yes. Back with all the weekly things and all those stuff you’ve been looking forward too. I would just really like to ask for an apology for being M.I.A in this blog for a long while! No worries, loves. I wouldn’t really promise it, however, I would try so hard to at least pop in here from time to time. Posting random things, such as the usual poems and might as well post some fictions, yes? Sounds exciting? I hope so. Anyway, it’s so nice to be back in here. Well, let’s all connect once more. 

Tammy x

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There it goes, flying away.

To never come back, this way.

Reaching out towards its way.

Only to struggle and watch it fade away.

Worth then shattered.

With it away, nothing mattered.

Heart and mind, now shallow and battered.

The wholeness that once there became tattered.

It slowly crept back.

Putting all worries in a sack.

To be thrown to the sea.

Hiding it from the eyes to see.

The piece, now complete.

Words in the mind, to compete.

But in the end, exploded.

In a parchment bloodied in black, executed.

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